If ever a time to post, now would probably be the worst. Given that this is for an English journal/diary project, a post of honesty isn’t out of place. Fair warning: this isn’t a giddy update on funny things that happened to me. I do have stuff to mention though, such as my funky bowling adventure, my presentation on the WPAFB, rekindling with a 2/3 time ex and more, but later.
Ever have that feeling where you couldn’t feel more alone? Where you call your closest friend and the only time her mom says no to hanging out if not busy is because you’re too much of an emotional wreck for her daughter to help? That you try to confide in a person, and you get told that just the sheer act of talking in turn is attempting to use that person to manipulate their spouse, which is so impossibly far from the truth, that it hurts that could ever be considered? Of course every teenager goes through phases where they feel alone, but this is the climax feeling of having no one I’ve had in years. When I lived with my mom, before she committed many acts I won’t share here thus basically ending our relationship, I did have that feeling I had no one. I didn’t have many friends I felt that I was close with, I had a stepdad that I used to feel hated my existence, and a mother who shrugged off any emotion I had as crazy and in need to see a psychiatrist. Having no one to call, see, or talk to, that was a very strong feeling of alone I had. That feeling is back. It’s been years since I’ve felt it so strongly. So I’m using this blog to talk of my emotions. I admit, many things from my waning summer had to be omitted because this is a blog on the Internet. This isn’t a place to be so honest. The moment you feel that your blog is the best…thing…to talk to, well that’s an indication of being truly alone.
I’m currently sitting in the guest room (mine’s in limbo of being painted) with a movie on my iPad. I spent a good while doing what upset people do, thinking of who to call to talk to. The few I tried were either busy or not allowed as I mentioned. So I thought I’d write. My first inclination was to write on paper so I could be extremely forthcoming. But, I remembered I need a few more pages to finish my summer assignment, so I’ll just write here.
It does hurt, feeling you don’t have someone to tell everything to. None of my friends from school know a few things about me, and none of my virtual friends know everything about me of course, and none of my family is close enough to know or ask. Anyone my family buys to talk to I’d never fully trust. So what should someone do in a situation like this?
I know I still have two months until I Ding! at 18, but this classic song popped up on my queue from my collection, so I figured I’d make it my song of the day.
Song of the Day: Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks
See, I’m not all pop/electro/indie, my taste can vary from coast to coast.
So I emailed my counselor a few days back to get my schedule for the next year fixed, and I had a pleasing surprise that he did it. Odd since during the school year I can never get anything done with him…but that’s what happens when your counselor is the head football coach and extremely busy, so I get it. No public hate happening here. Even though I adore Spanish, with the way our school system has been crumbling over the summer, I can’t take it. I took it my first three year, and I don’t think I ever got below a 94/95 in that class. It was definitely a grade booster, but many of the Spanish teachers have already left (including two of my favorites, Castro and Fulton) so SHS is not the place to continue that path. I replaced its spot with Accounting. I heard that’s not an awfully hard class, and hopefully since I’ve taken all of the math classes offered, between Accounting and AP Physics I can get a year of math in.
My schedule (since all of you are so curious of what I’m doing, but it also helps me keep track):
I hope to have some friends in classes this year. The past year especially hasn’t been to kind in that regard. Sadly one of my best friends Andrea can’t possible have the same class as me (disregarding study hall and/or lunch) since hers is completely different. Madi, another friend of mine, will take Accounting, Photo II, and hopefully sculpture, so maybe we could be in the same class! Sydney’s taking my AP classes, so we could share those in common.
I felt like the biggest fat ass returning to work with lunch…here I was, driving with my Wendy’s chowin down on some fries, and I pass this bicycler going uphill. I felt bad or him until I thought, “Oh wait, he’ll be working off calories, while I accumulate a few hundred+ and sit down in my office for a few more hours.” #trueAmerican.
I only have to write 10 more pages until I get the maximum summer writing extra credit! As I said, I’ll keep it going, but I need these pages done by…August 26th? My posts have recently been a page a day, so as long as I keep that up, I’ll be finished in a tad over a week. If I ever got to finishing my drafts and the camp post, I could easily be done. But you know me, procrastination at its best right here. Though I do wonder, when I have lists such as my schedule, if that’ll be all right that it’s not a solid block of text, yet shy of ten words taking the place of a short paragraph. Who knows. Anyways…
Oh! I changed my Gravatar. I’m a pro selfie taker, I swear. Someone could hire me to do them except well, selfies are taken by the person, so no photographer needed. That’d be some weird form of…something else, I don’t even know, not a selfie alright. Now I admit, I feel like I’m writing to write. What’s something fantastic worth reading…
Well, I’ve decided that my favorite (partial) Beatles song is While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Faaantastic stuff right there. I guess that’s all for now. See ya next post!
You know if someone sets their status as “Food and Jesus.”, they have their priorities straight. I, on the other hand, do not. Yesterday for my day off of work, I had a quite small to do list. How many of those things got done? Erm, well, only less than 1. We all need our lazy day! Or week. Or Summer…
Anyways, today’s the day my package will mooost likely show!! I’m so ready to go home, ready myself to open it, AND have it not be there. Nah, I’m pretty sure it should. I’ve been tracking it, and it arrives in Springboro either at 8 PM last night or 8 AM this morning, but it was sent out to be delivered (from Springboro, the city I call home at the moment) at 10 AM. If the mail service takes 24 hours to get it from the postal home base/office to my house, I’ll be disappointed. It’s only about a 4 minute drive maximum. I’d be glad to get it if I could. Anyways, it’s 2-day shipping, and today is the second day business day it’s been in transit.
To Whom This May Concern;
USPS gods, please be kind to me and have a present awaiting me.
So I’ve decided that I really like to make avatars in GIMP. Maybe that’s what I’ll do when I grow up. Sierra Ritter: Professional GNU Avatar Illustrator. Or, maybe not…but it’d sure be fun.
Speaking of stuff for when I grow up, my parental folks said I should include in my blog the college research I’ve been doing. So, readers, now you get to know about my daily meals AND what I want to do when I’m all grown up! So here‘s a website I’ve not looked into too awful much other than filling out one scholarship requirement. I’m not sure how trustworthy a site I found by googling “scholarships” will be, but what the hay! Money’s money, as long as you don’t have to be honest as to where you got it. Using this website, I found some rankings of top colleges in the United States for mathematics. If you’ve recently starting reading my blog, yes, I am a math geek. ❤ statistics. You know, I feel like statistics can be the most honest thing, and that’s why I love them. Wouldn’t you rather someone say “he received 35% of the votes” than “yeh, he received a good ole chunk of votes”? Well, I sure know I would. I think humans like to stretch the truth/exaggerate too much to forgo numbers. I admit, I do too. If someone asks how much I made last week, I may round up a bit to make it sound slightly more prestigious.
Then again, statistics can be the most misleading thing.
I accidently started browsing imgur, and I ran across this magnificent photo. Love it.
Back to what I was saying…oh yes, statistics indeed CAN be the most misleading this. Given I’ve taken a year and a half (a semester coarse before the full year class was offered, and the full year AP class, giving a grand total of a year and a half of a statistics class), I can tell you all about how stats can manipulate data to actually mislead without lying. There are the obvious ‘duhs’ such as putting a break in a graph to make a difference in bars look gigantus when actually the difference is minute. (SIDENOTE: Since when is gigantus not a word…?) And also, to represent a histogram, pictures can represent bars to also make the data look misleading. But then there’s the more complicated form of manipulation…when a graph appears to have some form of pattern, but not that strong, you can take the log of a variable (for example). This makes all the data look nicer and fit into a neat little package you can tell all your friends has a perfect trend line.
Wow what a tangent…well anyways, some of the school that seem to be best for me in terms of notability, size, likelihood to be accepted, price, and programs are (in order of overall score *):
*score is determined by QS Top Universities
I only included those because the rest were either not in the United States, cost $20k+, or weren’t in the top 50 school. Other school that barely didn’t make the cut to be posted in my blog were mostly state schools like Penn State or OSU. I do think it’s kind of odd that three Universities in California took slots…but so it goes. I’ve done more research, but I’ll elaborate on that later.
MUSIC OF THE DAY TIME:
Song of the Day: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes (so I completely forget which I had ready to be the song of the day…so we’ll just go with my all-time favorite song)
Artist of the Day: Bon Iver
Playlist of the Day: Slowly, Slowly I Am Drifting (a new playlist I made since I got into a Bon Iver kick today, it’s short but soon to expand!)
NEW! Music Blog of the Day: Soundtrack of the Youth (my most recent follower, who so far seems to have a delicious taste for music)
OHYES, something else…I made a Pinterest. I’m trying not to get into all of these social media sites since I go a little nuts with friends/followers, but it is a really good organizational website. Definitely a better idea than having over 30 tabs in 2-3 browsers at any given time. I’m slowly picking up speed, but if you have a desire to check out some of my favorite old Frederator podcasts or any other weird things I get into, check me out! My URL/link thing is: http://pinterest.com/rittersierra/boards/. I’ll update my About to have it there also.
NEW! Useful Nerd Site of the Day: R for Matlab Users
Well, I sure feel like I did a good job blogging today. Look at all this stuff! #goME
Thanks for reading!
I ♥ you
I really couldn’t believe in this more when it comes to phones…mine is coming up on its 2 year anniversary, and its 1 year crapaversary. It started to peter out 6 months to a year of having it. Now, it’ll turn off without the capability to turn back on for periods of time. It did this last night, so my alarm wouldn’t sound. Sucks since my actual alarm clock has been out of commission for quite a while… I woke at 9:40 this morning, and knew I couldn’t make that quite of a time recovery since I needed to shower. I am pretty proud of myself though, I leisurely showered, got ready, greeted my cat, etc. and got to work promptly at 10:30. For a girl, that’s some serious hauling. Bad thing is, I’m still an hour and a half passed when I would have like to have shown up to get some extra hours in this week.
Is Taco Bell always nuts when you walk in? Man, it sure seems to be whenever I walk in. Derek drove me, so it was easier to walk in. I got my usual Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze and churro, but I spiced things up with a quesadilla as opposed to a griller. I swear, it costs more but is less food.
Not been too fun lacking any and all Microsoft Office products…I tried to open PPTs I made to get the scripts I crafted; nope, no Powerpoint. I tried opening Word to read saved documents and lists; nope, “no Word for YOU.” I tried opening Excel to input my in and out time; NOPE. Computer’s acting like an almost 2-year-old that takes enjoyment of the word ‘no’. And now it thinks it’s too good to download GIMP T_T.
Dear Oh So Lovely Computer;
Could you be a doll and work for me? I’ve spent two days battling with you, today making a third. Mandy even left work to come in to wipe you clean of any malware. You couldn’t be more clean! Now, I know you were born with Windows 8. It’s not your fault, I don’t hate you for it. Lady Gaga even wrote a song for such matters. You were Born This Way. But if you could just let me work out my kinternship in peace, we can all get along!
Peace, Love, and Understanding
Oh, I guess I still need to give a song of the day…well, I had been thinking…I can’t decide between two songs. But why discriminate? I dub today as bonus day.
Song of the day number 1: Oh La La Satan by Mustard Pimp
Song of the day number 2: White Trash Beautiful by Everlast
Pretty weird combo, but oh well. And actually…if I were to have an artist of the day, it’d be Kavinsky. He/she/it/they/Obama has a few songs I really like (i.e. Pacific Coast Highway and Nightcall). So if you’re in the mood for #rad songs, there are a few to start you off.
MAN I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN COLOR CODE MY WORDS! This is cool. Awhhh yeahhh. Forget that punctuation, that can stay black, no one likes periods. Sorry, I hope I’m not graded on offtopicness. This is not a good situation…needing to update my blog, and all GIMP/Microsoft programs unavailable to me. AND, another package I bought off eBay should be here Friday (though since it took the chick 3 business days to send it out, I don’t think it’ll arrive until Saturday). What’s in the box? Not what JT thinks, it’s something much better. To be discovered when it arrives…!
And tomorrow I have off work, yey.
Tuesday, July 30th:
Reading an article on Stubborn Mule, I realized I never really knew the different between profanity, obscenity, and vulgarity. Whenever searching for a synonym for ‘curse word’, I’d use whichever popped in my head first. But, I don’t think of my English as gloriously unscathed, I know I mess up frequently, as do we all. Hell, I still say admitively as opposed to admittedly sometimes. Anyways, I now know that profanity is swearing drawing on religion, obscenity is swearing drawing on body party and sexual activity, and vulgarity covers both definitions. So, thanks Stubborn Mule, for furthering my knowledge in the realm of swearing.
I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I was never meant to be a blogger. I may have mentioned this before, so I guess I truly mean it now. I’ve yet to update my post about camp, time in-between camp and my vacation, and my vacation. And well, now that tidbit of time after my vacation until now. Pretty big stuff happened, i.e.: I found a book that made me enjoy reading. If you know me, you’d know that I haven’t voluntarily started AND finished a book in quite awhile (let’s not get too detailed about how long, because that’d be quite embarrassing). By voluntarily, I’m disregarding required reading for English class and other various required material. ANYWAYS, I think to conserve my sanity, I’ll change my blog from being a daily/weekly posting, to when eventful things happen. Do you really want to read my posts that are very short and consist of mentioning what I ate for breakfast? I’ll assume not, unless you’re someone who’s invested in any detail, no matter how trivial, of my life. To that, I’d rather have you stay away from my life details.
I’m not sure if I’ll keep it up, but today’s song of the day is: Applejuice by Krazy Baldhead. I can’t find it on Youtube, so I’m hoping this Grooveshark link will work.
Well, back to work! I’ll update this later to tell of my ‘oh so mysterious’ package I received when I get home!
So my package was this iHome webcam I ordered not exactly on purpose. It was only $3 with shipping, and I do ❤ eBay. I also got a check from work in the mail, holla!
Got slightly bored for a minute, so here’s what happened. Last (last?) night I was eating strawberries, so I made it my steam name for a short while. Figured I’d make an avatar if I eat strawberries again(: (link: http://imgur.com/pbvIPYV) (and the original shape I stole: http://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/81734415/sn/1710271234/name/10768383-strawberry-cartoon-isolated-over-white-background-vector.jpg)
Today I decided to work a full day of work since yesterday I found out that I can only work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And why is that? Well Independence Day is Thursday! I completely forgot. And Friday it’s basically the weekend following the holiday, and no one will be in the office anyways. Pretty much all day I’ve been listening to this one Grooveshark radio. I didn’t know that it had the capability to listen to people’s own broadcast (such as Turntable) until yesterday. The host goes by Migmagnific. That’s where I derived my post title from, and you should definitely go listen to it if you’re into old and new rock, blues, etcetera. This is a weird/funny video short that he linked in the chat a few hours ago of a Lion King alternative ending. Just been working on Dayton Analytics templates, R graphing, and backing up everything on an external hard drive.
I also want to have like, a Song of the Day sort of thing and I feel that linking videos looks slightly messy, so I’ll let you clink on the link if you so choose. Today’s is Drift Away by the Doobie Brothers. Honorable mentions: Men’s Needs by The Crib, Still Counting by Volbeat, Mama by Coconut Records, Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve.
The style of my blog is still a work in progress, too. Trying to find a way to get a GIF I made to be the background or at least the header. Interested in seeing an interesting analysis on dialects in the United States? Well, probably not with how I worded it, but I definitely think you should check it out. For one map, it highlights which regions of the US say coke vs. pop vs. soda. Mandy ran by it and showed it to me last time we were both in the office.
Well, at this precise moment, it is 3:31 PM, an hour and a half until I get off work to meet my grandma at home! Since the dramatic move of hers, I haven’t seen her since. She’s coming over for dinner tonight. Boy I really hope we have noodles again…I had them for dinner last night and for lunch today at work, and I still want more! And today at work, Derek brought me a banana questionable shake when he was out getting lunch 😀 Pretty rad of him. So far that’s really all that has happened today. Happy July 2nd!
Camp this week! It’s called the Lindner Summer Institute for Emerging Women Leaders at the University of Cincinnati. I kind of didn’t give myself any time to work on this post, or even finish my last one, so I’ll get to that as soon as I can. Regular posts will resume Friday!
It seems like every so often I become obsessed about songs. I actually compile playlists of them in Grooveshark. I’ve linked my account before, but if you’re into indie/alternative with a dash of pop, rock, and other awesome genres, you should check it out. And this video is one I’m currently looping into everything I’m listening to. It’s called Personal by Stars, ergo the title for this post. It’s a slow song, so if you’re in the mood for screamo, I recommend not listening to it.
Want to see a mind boggling graph I just created in R? Well here it is anyways: http://imgur.com/OvVpG9v. I don’t even know…
As much as I enjoy Piada (like an Italian version of Chipotle if you know what that is), I don’t think it’s as good the day after. Yesterday for dinner I went there for my first time, and it was epic. So man choices of meats, sauces, vegetables, and other various toppings. Oh I’m testing an html code, and it looks broken for me since flash isn’t working…but hopefully that yellow box could play music. Posting this so I can test it, but the post is TBC~
Well never mind, WordPress doesn’t approve of that. Well another good song to listen to which is more calm alternative: Stars by The XX
Excuse all the videos, meant for this to be more of a text and link sort of blog, but I like the dimension that other mediums add. Oh, also! Eventually I plan to have another blog. Well it’ll be more of a vlog, but its premise will be me recording when I go on a new server for a video game, the reactions I get. I have so many guys say to me, “Oh I wish I could be a girl gamer, all the attention and free stuff would be 1337.” They never get to see the hate that we get too. There was one time (of many) where I entered a server, used my microphone, and I was muted since they thought I was a little boy for a second. I said I was a girl so they hastily unmuted me. The harassment and drama involved really sucks. But, overall it’s more of an entertainment. What I plan to record first is hopping servers in Garry’s Mod. Want to be in a video? Message me on Steam after I get some extra cash to buy Fraps for $37. I know it’s not that expensive, but I did just start my job last week and I have a lot of summer plans that involve money. I’ve played with the settings for maybe five recording programs, and it’s definitely the easiest to use for its price. Gosh if only I could have recorded myself when I first started playing online games. I was only twelve playing Team Fortress 2 and usually with my dad. Here‘s a video someone else recorded of a Traitor round I had a few years ago. I used to go by LaDy as my sort of gamer tag. I hope to be able to record my own videos soon!
Have you ever heard of something called Humble Bundle? Well it’s a way to get games safely and cheaply AND to support charities. I just bought another package of games and soundtracks for $5. They happen every now and then. Most definitely recommended.
Well, that’s all I have for now. Finished with work, and nothing exciting really happened. I did some research on the Speed and Direction of Upper Air, played with a few coding programs, and etcetera. Ta ta for now!